Two little boys found an old tape recorder in their parents’ bedroom. After fruitless attempts of punching buttons with nothing happening, the six-year-old decided to stomp around, showing off his cowboy boots. He told his four-year-old brother he was the toughest guy in the house. He kicked the end of the bed, a chair, and the dresser. Then, he strutted over and kicked the window. It shattered, and the crisis unfolded.
Discovering the Truth
Mother was at the other end of the house, paying little attention to her sons’ chatter. When the glass broke, she yelled, “Boys. What are you doing?”
She hurried into her bedroom to discover two sheepish children trying to act as if nothing had happened.
“What did you do?”
“Nothing.”
“Who did this?”
“I don’t know.”
After several unanswered questions, Mom spotted the tape recorder on the bed. The red and black buttons appeared set. She picked up the recorder, rewound the tape, and heard the whole story.
“I don’t know” turned into “I didn’t mean to.”
Unfortunately, we don’t always have a recorder to give insight into what has happened. My parenting journey often found one child blaming another. Sometimes, they created impressive stories. However, upon questioning, many tales fell short of the whole truth.
Is What I Hear the Truth?
The Amplified translation of Solomon’s words is, “The first one to plead his case seems right, until another comes and cross-examines him” (Proverbs 18:17). To act correctly rather than react impulsively reveals self-control. Failure to stop, look, and listen can lead to temperamental displays rather than appropriate action. Oswald Chambers wrote, “There is always one more fact in every man’s case about which we know nothing.”
In Asia, I was taught to ask myself, “What am I not hearing?” Sometimes, what I fail to hear is the other side of the story. The silence surrounding conversations yields insights the words fail to present.
How Do You Respond to the Crisis?
The window is broken, and trouble requires a response. How do you respond?
Lower your voice. The higher the blood pressure, the less likely you are to respond in a God-honoring way. Make time to settle the noise within you before addressing the noise disturbing you. Otherwise, you may be teaching a child to throw an adult temper tantrum rather than not to kick windows.
- Give every child involved a chance to tell their story without interruption.
Listen. Try to avoid assumptions. Note what is in each story and what is missing. Is one child afraid to say something? Why?
- Gather information on what happened before the incident.
What led to it? Little happens in a vacuum.
- Gauge your response based on the best way to address the problem and use the situation as a teachable moment.
Leaving out part of the story can be a guilty child’s way of avoiding the truth.
- Glean insights from what is not said that could influence what happened.
Let your child know what steps they need to take and how to avoid this kind of crisis in the future.Crises arise regularly with young children. Each can be a teachable moment for both parent and child. Make room in the midst of your chaos to allow God to work in and through you as you train your child in the way they should go.
Crises arise regularly with young children. Each can be a teachable moment for both parent and child. Make room in the midst of your chaos to allow God to work in and through you as you train your child in the way they should go.
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Responding to Your Kids’ Destructive Crisis
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Posted: March 18, 2024 by Harry Lucenay
Two little boys found an old tape recorder in their parents’ bedroom. After fruitless attempts of punching buttons with nothing happening, the six-year-old decided to stomp around, showing off his cowboy boots. He told his four-year-old brother he was the toughest guy in the house. He kicked the end of the bed, a chair, and the dresser. Then, he strutted over and kicked the window. It shattered, and the crisis unfolded.
Discovering the Truth
Mother was at the other end of the house, paying little attention to her sons’ chatter. When the glass broke, she yelled, “Boys. What are you doing?”
She hurried into her bedroom to discover two sheepish children trying to act as if nothing had happened.
“What did you do?”
“Nothing.”
“Who did this?”
“I don’t know.”
After several unanswered questions, Mom spotted the tape recorder on the bed. The red and black buttons appeared set. She picked up the recorder, rewound the tape, and heard the whole story.
“I don’t know” turned into “I didn’t mean to.”
Unfortunately, we don’t always have a recorder to give insight into what has happened. My parenting journey often found one child blaming another. Sometimes, they created impressive stories. However, upon questioning, many tales fell short of the whole truth.
Is What I Hear the Truth?
The Amplified translation of Solomon’s words is, “The first one to plead his case seems right, until another comes and cross-examines him” (Proverbs 18:17). To act correctly rather than react impulsively reveals self-control. Failure to stop, look, and listen can lead to temperamental displays rather than appropriate action. Oswald Chambers wrote, “There is always one more fact in every man’s case about which we know nothing.”
In Asia, I was taught to ask myself, “What am I not hearing?” Sometimes, what I fail to hear is the other side of the story. The silence surrounding conversations yields insights the words fail to present.
How Do You Respond to the Crisis?
The window is broken, and trouble requires a response. How do you respond?
Lower your voice. The higher the blood pressure, the less likely you are to respond in a God-honoring way. Make time to settle the noise within you before addressing the noise disturbing you. Otherwise, you may be teaching a child to throw an adult temper tantrum rather than not to kick windows.
Listen. Try to avoid assumptions. Note what is in each story and what is missing. Is one child afraid to say something? Why?
What led to it? Little happens in a vacuum.
Leaving out part of the story can be a guilty child’s way of avoiding the truth.
Let your child know what steps they need to take and how to avoid this kind of crisis in the future.Crises arise regularly with young children. Each can be a teachable moment for both parent and child. Make room in the midst of your chaos to allow God to work in and through you as you train your child in the way they should go.
Crises arise regularly with young children. Each can be a teachable moment for both parent and child. Make room in the midst of your chaos to allow God to work in and through you as you train your child in the way they should go.
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Category: Counseling, Marriage & Family, Ministry Helps Tags: Harry Lucenay, Responding to Your Kids’ Destructive Crisis, Way Walkers Worldwide