How Do You Pray for Family Needs You Don’t Know?

“Are you praying for things in your adult children’s lives you know nothing about?” The question caught me off-guard. As a grandparent, I pray for the family needs of my adult children, their spouses, and my grandchildren by name every day. They live in three different states. These days mark the challenges of the stages of their life cycles. Our relationships are good. We keep up with one another. And when we are together, we enjoy one another. But we do not know about the ebb and flow of emotions, secret disappointments, much less every day’s unspoken needs. We know the joys and anxieties they choose to share.

How to Pray for Family Needs

family holding hands

When my children were approaching their teens, an associate remarked, “You have good kids.” I thanked him. “And yours are grown. We still must maneuver the knowns and unknowns between today and adulthood.” That conversation continues to remind me of the tests families face. If my grandkids inherited half the foolishness their grandfather has, they need my prayers. The other side of foolishness, the lure of evil awaits them. When I consider their genes, I need to put thirty-six hours of prayer into each of the twenty-four hours I have. I want God to guide them in their choices.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:2

To awaken our understanding, let’s think about our lives when we were their age or when our children were the age of their children. We were busy, sometimes overextended financially, and often trying to meet the needs of three children of different ages. Sorting out accusations from reality, attempting to act rather than react, and focusing on the positive instead of the negative. Through it all, we worked hard to encourage. Get the idea? To pray for family needs, we want to remember the many issues we juggled during their season in life.

Avoid Playing God

Our adult children do not need us to “play God” in their lives. Anything we hear or see is only part of the picture. Listening when they want to talk informs our prayers. Jumping to conclusions gives birth to erroneous assumptions. Responding when they request our insights needs to be bathed in prayer and biblical wisdom. Butting in when their decisions are none of our business destroys our relationships.

My dad often told me, “Think, Harry. Think.” How do we pray for family needs we know nothing about? Let’s take off our shoes, put our feet in their shoes, open our hearts, and ask God to show us what we need to put before him.

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