Us versus Them: How to Bridge the Gap

Us versus Them. Which side are you? As children, we played Cowboys and Indians with the neighborhood kids. Everyone knew the enemy’s identity. Most of the good cowboys wore white hats, except Paladin from the Have Gun—Will Travel television series. As we got a little older, we read GI Joe comic books and fought battles with our enemies. Once again, everyone knew the identity of the enemy. A few years later, we were playing baseball or football against other teams. As we got older, rivalries became more pronounced. The enemy wore a different jersey, but he could be a friend when he took it off.

As our country entered undeclared wars, we knew people who shed blood while solving little. Most of the battles were against people who looked slightly dissimilar to us and spoke different languages. Of course, the issues causing the wars amounted to more than cosmetic differences and dialects. Back at home, good church kids ran around with kids just like themselves. We argued over whose church taught the Bible more accurately than other churches. We considered unchurched people with different labels. Our culture marinated our identities in an Us versus Them mentality.

Furthermore, not everyone in the United States grew up in the same neighborhood with the same Us versus Them. But the teachers in my little world taught us to love one another. How do you love someone when you know a little about them?

Endless Finger Pointing

Many Americans proudly sing “God Bless America.” With sincere hearts, we sing,

Let us all be grateful for a land so fair,

As we raise our voices in a solemn prayer.

God bless America, land that I love. 

Stand beside her and guide her

Thru the night with a light from above.

However, we seemed to have forgotten Woody Guthrie’s

This land is your land, and this land is my land.

From California to the New York Island,

From the Redwood Forest to the Gulf stream waters,

This land was made for you and me.

The spectacle of divisive politics and 24-hour news cycles driving an alienating narrative has exacerbated our nation’s discord and despair. Yet, the tributaries feeding our problems transport pain from many wounded and misunderstood hearts throughout our land. Little wonder we have seen our country develop into a people divided into groups of Us and Them. Whether race or gender issues, questions about the beginning or end of life, poverty, education, immigration, or religion, we differ. Yes, we have major structural problems to address physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. But generational issues rarely evaporate with quick fixes.

Learning the Language of Togetherness 

When I was a boy, someone told me that to understand another person, I needed to walk a mile in his moccasins. When I became older, wisdom reminded me to take off my shoes before slipping my feet into someone else’s footwear. The more I face diversity, the more I recognize my shortcomings in understanding the depth of the feeling behind what I see and what another said.  And I need to work through my emotions to decipher our conversation’s meaning. When another speaks, I hear the words with ears telling me what the words mean to me. But I do not always know not what the words mean to the speaker. The videos playing in my mind do not elicit the same responses streaming through the speaker’s mind. The stories informing our lives differ in unimaginable ways. Remember, our understanding begins where we stand.

A Way Beyond Us versus Them

Recently, I picked up Sarah Bauer Anderson’s book, The Space Between Us, How Jesus Teaches Us to Live Together When Politics and Religion Pull Us Apart. Though we do not share the same perspective on all the issues she raises, she challenges her readers to open their ears and hearts to meaningful conversations that can bridge the issues dividing us. We often reduce charged issues and complex individuals to single topics, nullifying significant points of commonality. And we bypass our contradictions, inconsistencies, and conflicts. 

All people are not the same. Our uniqueness is good. On a personal note, I’m grateful my wife is not a mirror copy of me. Our differences add spice to our lives. As people in our land, let us make efforts to comprehend the differences in one another. None of us has complete knowledge on any subject. Let us learn together. And we will do well to make room for each other to interpret the thoughts and intents of one another. Increased understanding will assist us in avoiding false assumptions. The fresh air of familiarity will awaken new relationships. Hopefully, we can put away our need to win and sit down to break bread together as we find nourishment in each other’s offerings.

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